Welcome, mortal, to the lair of the Phantom Prophets, where the lines between reality and madness are blurred, and the air is thick with the scent of despair.
Meet Prophet Xylophone, the master of misplaced optimism. His prophecies are always just out of reach, but always within walking distance.
Meet Prophet Blerp, the bringer of bad news. His prophecies are always accurate, but never timely.
Meet Prophet Flibber, the king of unnecessary information. His prophecies are always lengthy, but never concise.